


I come in peace

by kazaka



Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M, Post-Canon, Single Dad Gordon, benrey doing his best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:20:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24185776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kazaka/pseuds/kazaka
Summary: Gordon and Benrey bond in the weeks following the Black Mesa Incident.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 38
Kudos: 660





	I come in peace

**Author's Note:**

> Very fluffy dad stuff I wanted to write instead of stressing about exams. I hope you enjoy!

Gordon is flicking through his phone for a good lasagna recipe when he hears a knock on the door. He takes a second to screenshot a particularly good one before scooting off the sofa and to the front hall, flexing his right hand as he walks. It's only been about a week since he got his hand back and he's still not quite used to the sensation. A small part of him wishes it'd had left a scar - something cool to show for it, a conversation starter that didn't make him sound completely delusional.

But, no matter. He's just grateful to have all his limbs, and he purposefully opens the door with his newly-attached hand to affirm this. 

He doesn't need to check who it is, because he knows: it's Benrey, right on time. He's here to pick up Gordon's copy of _Kane & Lynch 2,_ and hopefully return it once he was done.

This was Gordon testing the waters with Benrey, offering a small olive branch in hopes of building up to something like trust. He didn't have much faith in the guy as it was, but he had a spare copy of K&L2 if things went south. Not that Benrey knew that, though. 

Benrey is stood in the hall, unreadable as ever. It's interesting to see him out of uniform, casually dressed and remarkably helmet-less, and Gordon notes that his hair is dark, rather long and unstyled. Gordon's hair is getting pretty long too, (they were stuck in the ruins of Black Mesa for longer than he originally thought), but he's starting to like it that way, and keeps it tied back in a small ponytail. 

Benrey gets straight to the point. "Got the goods?" he asks.

Gordon doesn't greet him like he would his 'normal' friends - he doesn't clap him on the back, shake his hand or anything like that. It just didn't feel right. The guy _had_ tried to kill him not too long ago. Still, being as mild-mannered as he is, Gordon is obliged to be civil, so he stands aside to let Benrey in.

"Come in, dude. I got 'em. Jesus, is it raining out there or what?" he says, and it's no exaggeration; it had been unusually blustery all morning, and Gordon had been woken up at the crack of dawn by lashings of rain against his window.

Strangely, there didn't seem to be a drop of water on Benrey. He hadn't even brought an umbrella. Gordon gives him a sidelong glance before leading him down the hall. 

"Yeah. Wind blew my ass off," says Benrey. 

Gordon hums knowingly. He makes a detour to the kitchen, Benrey in tow. 

"You drive here?" he asks, genuinely interested to see if Benrey partook in any human activities. He roots around in the fridge for some beers and huffs when he remembers he hasn't been shopping yet. 

Benrey leans against the counter, zeroing in on Gordon's fridge magnets. "Nah. I walked," he replies.

Gordon twists around in surprise. "Really? You don't look all that wind-swept."

He really doesn't - his clothes (a T-shirt and shorts, an odd choice for such a tempestuous day) are bone dry. Benrey shrugs, nonchalant.

"I walked really fast. Like, _really_ fast," he explains, almost bragging, though it only manages to make Gordon more confused. Somehow it's vaguely believable, considering Benrey's unconventional relationship with the laws of physics.

Gordon turns towards the fridge again and picks out a carton of something half-finished before shutting the door. "Huh. You must be thirsty, then," he says, frowning at the thing in his hands before offering it to Benrey. "Apple juice?"

"I don't want your charity, Freeman," Benrey sniffs, crossing his arms. "But yes, please."

Two glasses of apple juice later, Gordon is bent over his CD collection with Benrey standing at his side, tapping his foot impatiently. It's kind of annoying, and Gordon wants to ask if he has somewhere better to be, because he'd put money on it that he hasn't. As far as Gordon's concerned, Benrey just sat around playing _Heavenly Sword_ with his schlub friend Josh all weekend. He could wait five minutes.

When he finds the desired disc, he rolls back on his heels, giving it a once-over for any scratches. 

"This is the PS3 version, right?" asks Benrey. He had a thing for Sony products, whereas Gordon was more of a PC guy. They met in the middle somewhere when it came to Kane & Lynch.

"Yep," Gordon assures him, popping the disc back in its case. He stands up and hands it to Benrey, assuming he's just about ready to take off. "Well, guess I'll see you on Monday-"

"Hold up," Benrey interjects. "I want a demonstration," he says, handing it back to Gordon. 

"Dude," Gordon sighs. He should've expected something like this; Benrey was anal about the weirdest things. "This ain't GameStop. Trust me, it's fine. It's not like I'm selling it to you."

"Time is more valuable than money," says Benrey, unpersuaded. "And if I find out you've wasted my time, bro? You won't like me when I'm angry."

Gordon's pretty sure it's an empty threat, but he _has_ seen Benrey when he's angry, and no, he didn't like it. So he gives Benrey a withered look and begrudgingly takes the disc back, kneeling down again to dust off his neglected PS3.

"You're really gonna make me set this shit up," he says, irritated. He picks through a bundle of HDMI cables, trying to remember what went where. "I haven't used this in like, two years."

"Maybe it's about time," says Benrey, smug. He crowds overhead, watching closely as Gordon fumbles with the wire. He looks seconds away from saying something snide about how Gordon's doing it wrong, so Gordon bats him away. 

"Stop hovering! Go sit over there," he says, jutting a thumb over his shoulder in the direction of the sofa.

Benrey does so, flopping onto it like he owns the place. He spreads his legs out and leans back, and Gordon can practically feel two holes in his head where he's being stared at. Jesus, didn't the guy have a phone or something?

Gordon perseveres with the PS3, plugging things here and there. He _had_ actually been meaning to do this at some point, since he'd built up a substantial to-do list during his near-death experience at Black Mesa. He was suddenly appreciating the smaller things in life, like booting up bygone game consoles for old time's sake. But it pissed him off that he was doing it for Benrey's sake right now - it dampened the sweetness of the nostalgia somewhat.

He gets down all fours to sweep his hand under the TV set to reach the last pesky wire, which is unhelpfully covered in dust and very far away.

"Nice view," Benrey teases.

Gordon flips him off with one hand, the other still searching for the wire. He was no stranger to unprompted comments about his ass, though they were predominantly from Benrey. Actually, they were 100% from Benrey.

Gordon's about to tell Benrey to get a life when a sudden noise alerts him - it's a shrill cry, high and wailing and seemingly very nearby. Gordon scoots back, cursing when he hits his head on the TV set. He then stands up, console abandoned, and moves past Benrey, into the hall.

"Whoa. You keeping hostages in here, Feetman?" Benrey asks, looking around for the noise like he's alarmed by it. 

"Stay here," says Gordon, disappearing into another room. 

The crying stops after a while, to Benrey's relief. He didn't like to be in the vicinity of things that were louder than him as a general rule. He fidgets on the sofa, staring straight ahead and wondering if he should rifle through Gordon's CDs while he's absent, see if there's anything embarrassing. Like an Xbox game. Benrey snickers, very tempted. Yeah, that _would_ be embarrassing. 

Gordon reappears before Benrey can enforce his snooping. And, this time to Benrey's horror, he's not alone.

"What the hell is that," says Benrey, staring fixedly at Gordon like he's just witnessed something unspeakable. 

Gordon isn't best pleased by the curt remark. The _thing_ in his arms hiccups in solidarity. 

"Uh? It's my son, you-" Gordon starts, then rethinks his use of vibrant language in front of his infant son, "-silly."

Benrey is visibly disturbed by this. "Wuh- what's wrong with it? Why did it make that noise?"

Gordon rolls his eyes. Though they looked near enough in age, Benrey's immaturity never ceased to amaze him. Gordon soothes a hand over the baby's head as if to apologise for introducing him to the stupid man on the sofa.

"Storm woke him up. Had a rough night, too, so he's tired - keep your voice down," says Gordon while sliding onto the couch next to Benrey. "And if it's all the same to you, I'm gonna try and get him to sleep again. Feel free to leave," he adds, feeling confident that the introduction of a third party would make Benrey want to slink off and go do his own thing.

Weirdly, though, Benrey doesn't move. He just sits there, eyes locked with Gordon's son like he's sizing up an opponent, until eventually he digs around in his back pocket for the Black Mesa Security notebook he carries around everywhere. Gordon eyes it and sighs, knowing all too well what's coming.

"Gonna have to get your name and badge number," orders Benrey. 

"He doesn't have a badge number, dude. He's not even a year old," says Gordon. Benrey nods professionally and jots this down.

"For future reference, Gordon, I wasn't talking to you. Name?" Benrey asks, leaning down slightly to get on eye level with the kid. 

Gordon rolls his eyes. "Joshua," he answers tersely. 

"Joshua? Like my friend Josh?"

"No- and don't start telling people I named my kid after your friend Josh. That's weird. It's just Joshua," says Gordon.

"Just Joshua. You got a permit for that, Just Joshua?" says Benrey, pointing at the pacifier in Joshua's mouth with the back end of his pencil. 

Gordon stays quiet for this one, raising an eyebrow at Benrey to convey that he can't be bothered.

"...OK, so no permit," says Benrey, tucking the notebook back in his shorts. "Well, Freeman, I have to inform you that you're housing suspicious personnel. HQ's not gonna like this, especially since you don't have your passport." 

Gordon scrubs a tired hand over his face. "I'm getting it renewed tomorrow," he says, then gets an idea. "Will you leave me alone if I bring it on Monday?" 

"No way," Benrey replies, sounding offended by the suggestion. "I can't just let you roam free, man." He's serious, but chuckles at his own joke after a second.

Gordon presses back into the sofa with Joshua curled up against his chest. "Was worth a shot," he says with his eyes closed.

* * *

It annoys Benrey that Gordon thinks he'll get off scot-free just by flashing his passport. Boy, was he wrong - Benrey had already decided that his surveillance of Gordon was going to be a lifelong investment. He couldn't exactly put his finger on why it had to be this way, but he firmly believed that it should be, because no one else was up to the task (besides him).

Maybe it was because his job was boring and Gordon had a certain magnetism that none of the other drab four-eyed nerds back at the lab did. He could be serious, but didn't take himself all that seriously. He was smart, but not to an obnoxious extent. He was a natural leader, but still felt like your friend. And he was the perfect subject to rile up. 

Benrey wound him up incessantly and in a variety of creative ways, all of which left Gordon hilariously irksome. His preferred method was to purposefully disagree with Gordon on any random topic, argue with him for a minute, and watch as Gordon desperately tried to convince Benrey otherwise. What made it so perfect was that Benrey didn't actually have to care about the subject at hand, he just liked to watch Gordon get flustered.

The other stuff was good, too, like glueing his ass to the seat of a burning car, but it didn't have quite the same effect. 

Thinking about it puts Benrey in the mood to rile Gordon up some more, but when he looks back at him he sees that Gordon's fallen asleep. It's annoying, but Benrey pieces together that a rough night for Joshua probably meant a rough night for Gordon, so he forgives him just this once. Still, he was promised a demonstration of _Kane & Lynch 2_, so he'll wait.

He contents himself by staring straight ahead, arms crossed, exerting monk-like patience as he waits for Gordon to stir awake. 

...Yet, he can't help but let his eyes drift over the peaceful scene. Gordon has a protective arm draped around Joshua, holding him close against his chest. Joshua bobs up and down in tandem with Gordon's shallow breathing, and honestly, it's even making Benrey feel a little sleepy. The kid's eyes were wide open, though; big and green and staring intently at Benrey. Benrey stares back, just to see what happens. 

There's movement: Joshua unhooks one of his little hands from where he's clutching Gordon's shirt and reaches for Benrey. Benrey doesn't really know how to interpret it - what did he want? A handshake? Some change?

Joshua's brow pinches when Benrey fails to return the gesture, and he worries the little guy's gonna start wailing again. It's amazing that such a big noise could come out of such a tiny thing. He’s jealous, even. 

Benrey extends his own hand, hoping it'll do the trick, and surprisingly it does: Joshua grabs hold of Benrey's pinky and squeezes, his expression relaxing. He doesn't seem too intent on letting go, so Benrey slides down on the couch, back flat against the seat cushion, and keeps his hand propped up with his elbow.

Gordon's head is turned away from Benrey, but he can see the resemblance between him and Joshua. It's in the eyes, mostly. They're strikingly green and expressive, something Benrey had noticed of Gordon despite the glasses. His hair is also much like Gordon's: thick, light brown curls that tumble down his little face. Benrey didn't know where Joshua's mom was - or even who she was, since Gordon had never mentioned her - but the kid looked as comfortable with Gordon as he would with any maternal figure, so Benrey reckons he's being raised solo. 

And in all honesty, Benrey hadn't forgotten that Gordon had a kid. He'd known since their earliest encounter in the locker room. But he'd sort of... selectively ignored the fact. It made Benrey feel less guilty while he was actively trying to crush Gordon underfoot during their final showdown. Not that Benrey was one to feel guilty about things, but he thought it appropriate to separate Gordon Freeman: Black Mesa escapee from Gordon Freeman: single father. 

"Just Joshua," Benrey mutters. Joshua babbles happily around his pacifier at the acknowledgement. 

Benrey shifts his elbow forward a little, keeping their hands connected. "How come your daddy's such a hardass? Huh? You working him too hard?" 

He gets no eloquent answer. Joshua just stares at him and drools.

Staring was fine, but it was time to switch it up. Benrey leans towards him and makes a stupid face. It makes Joshua giggle, and Benrey feels a strange sense of satisfaction at the reaction. When he does it again, Joshua squeals with laughter, so much so that his pacifier falls out of his mouth. Benrey catches it and puts it back in, figuring that's where it's supposed to go. 

The noise is enough to wake Gordon, and he does so with a jolt. He blinks around and sits up, unknowingly detaching Joshua's hand from Benrey's finger. 

"Sorry, dude. Was I out long?" Gordon asks, adjusting his glasses. "God, I feel so old."

Benrey is still lying flat on the seat cushions, letting his long legs dangle over the edge. He looks between Gordon and Joshua as if to hint to the kid: _don't tell him what I just said._

"Uh, like. Two minutes," Benrey tells him. He grins. "Gordon Freeman, more like Gordon old... man." 

Gordon frowns. "Isn't that an actor?" 

Joshua whines something that vaguely sounds like 'dada' and reaches up towards Gordon's face. Gordon shushes him and lifts him up higher, letting him rest his head on Gordon's shoulder and cling on to the neck of his shirt. 

"I know, I know, buddy. Not tired yet? Don’t blame you. Gotta stay frosty when this guy’s around,” says Gordon, nodding at Benrey.

Benrey chuckles, but he knows there’s a seriousness to it. He and Gordon hadn’t exactly been the best of friends back at Black Mesa, nor was Benrey the most trustworthy member of the Science Team. He’d sort of apologised for all that, in his own way, by slipping little notes into their lockers with such encouraging things as ‘gordon freeman suckz’ written on them. It won Tommy and Dr. Coomer over almost immediately, but Bubby didn’t like the waste of paper. 

As for Gordon, well. 

Gordon hadn’t explicitly forgiven Benrey, but wasn’t hostile or spiteful towards him. He was more so resigned to the fact that Benrey was a constant and dysfunctional part of his life, though thankfully without a ride-or-die vendetta to back it up. When things started getting back to normal, they humoured each other just like they’d always done. 

The two got talking during the week about their favourite Justin.tv shows, a discussion that eventually turned into an argument concerning the better Playstation game: _Heavenly Sword_ or _Kane & Lynch 2._ Gordon, incredibly stubborn and desperate to prove Benrey wrong, invited him over to loan the game, and Benrey would let him borrow _Heavenly Sword_ in return. 

Benrey was happier about the arrangement than he let on, because a small part of him didn’t want to simply be humoured by Gordon anymore. Benrey liked the attention Gordon gave him, since nobody else had ever spared him much. It felt special, in a strange fraternal way he would never willingly admit to, and getting distracted by Joshua felt like a timely step towards something like friendship. 

“You hungry?” Gordon asks, and it takes Benrey a moment to realise that he’s talking to him, not Joshua. 

“Oh, uh. Depends,” Benrey replies.

Gordon gives him a look. “On what?”

“On whether you’re a vegan or not. ‘Cos you look the type, with your man bun and your… parenthood.”

Gordon snorts and shakes his head. “It’s not a man bun, dude, let it go. And fuck no, I’m not vegan,” he says, scrunching his nose. “I ate, like, three hamburgers right after we got out of Black Mesa.”

Benrey sits up a bit. “You got burgers?”

“Not on me. Fridge is kinda empty right now,” says Gordon, scratching his beard. He’d been so focussed on restocking baby stuff that he’d neglected getting much for himself, surviving mostly on canteen food during the day and microwave macaroni in the evenings. “But I got stuff for a sandwich. Want a sandwich?” 

He does.

* * *

Gordon and Benrey stand side by side as they set about making sandwiches, ham & cucumber and PB&J respectively. It's nice. Benrey discovers that Gordon is very good at doing things one-handed, since Joshua is occupying the other, his pacifier now replaced with a bottle of milk. But really, he should've known. Gordon was minus a hand for a lot of his time in Black Mesa, so he's had a lot of practice.   
  
"So," says Benrey after a while, "you like being a dad?"  
  
Gordon offers Benrey a quick glance, but turns back to slicing cucumber while he speaks.  
  
"Yeah, for sure. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me. It's stressful, maybe, but worth it. Every dad will tell you the same," Gordon answers. It's sincere, but there's a twist of sadness that clouds his eyes in the silence that ensues.

"Been feeling like a pretty lousy excuse for one, though," he says with a self-deprecating chuckle.

Benrey watches him closely. "Why's that?"

Gordon sighs and lays the knife flat on the cutting board, looking down at the cucumber like he's talking to it. 

"I don't know, I just don't think I'm here enough. Especially after that shit at Black Mesa - Jesus, what was it. A month? I wasn't in his life for a whole month. That's a big deal to a kid," he says. Benrey wonders if he's speaking from experience. 

"He was staying with my sister, luckily. But she chewed me out pretty bad when I got back. I don't blame her - I'd upped sticks and ran off, for all she knew. No one could get hold of me. And then, suddenly, I'm back," he laughs weakly. "She said he could develop some type of complex, like- an attachment problem, you know? And sometimes I wonder if it would've been better for him if I hadn't come back at all," he says, staring ahead. 

Benrey gulps. This stuff wasn't really his forte - nor were emotions in general. He looks down at his own sandwich, suddenly not feeling very hungry, and opens his mouth to say something. Nothing comes to mind. Thankfully, Gordon seems to snap out of it before Benrey can say anything inappropriate. 

"Crap. Sorry. Didn't mean to drop all that heavy stuff on you," says Gordon, returning to prep his sandwich. Joshua leans against him in his arms, taking dozy sips from the bottle while Gordon fixes lunch. "I, uh. Hadn't talked about it with anyone before. Must've just slipped out," he says, laughing nervously. 

Benrey is bewildered that Gordon would choose _him_ of all people to bare his soul to. He must be stressed to the point of distraction, maybe even delirious. Or perhaps it was true what they said about keeping friends close, enemies closer. (Because Benrey would forever be the enemy, he knew that much). 

"No, it's. It's fine. I- um," Benrey stumbles, looking around the room for inspiration. He hones in on the pictures stuck to Gordon's fridge.

They're mostly of Joshua, but the few that Gordon features in are particularly sappy. Less sappy, more tooth-achingly sweet, if Benrey's being honest with himself, and evidence enough that Gordon wasn't just some absentee father who came and went from Joshua's life as he pleased. He looks back at Gordon, but not straight at his face. More so at his neck/shoulder area, just to ease the clumsiness of his brewing heart-to-heart. 

"Listen, you're, uh. A great dad. Probably. I mean, I know so. You basically adopted those three numbskulls back at the lab," he says, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. "Not me, though. I'm like, just your work buddy. So I'm the only one who's qualified to tell you."

Gordon stays silent, not even moving, and for a moment he thinks he's said the wrong thing. Benrey winces at the awkwardness, but it was at times like these that his mouth moved faster than his brain, and it seemed his mouth was determined not to let it end there.

"Well, Joshua's probably the _most_ qualified. Just Joshua. And he looks pretty attached to me. Physically, he's attached. 'Cos he's holding onto your shirt there, see..."

Benrey makes a weak gesture towards Joshua, and the kid blinks back at him sleepily. Benrey frowns, as if to say _c'mon, dude, h_ _elp me out._

"And, uh. It wasn't your fault you weren't here when we were, y'know, escaping. So don't blame yourself. If anything it's my-"

"Benrey."

Benrey's throat gets tight. He clears it, daring to meet Gordon's eyes. "Mm?" 

Gordon looks stern, and a bit scary with a knife in his hand, but can't keep it up for long. He snorts at Benrey's terrified face, grinning toothily at the guy when he eventually stops laughing. 

"Thanks, dude. Work buddies, huh? Never thought I'd see the day," he says, smiling warmly as he leans back against the kitchen table.

Benrey doesn't know he's been holding his breath until he lets it out. He deflates with relief and joins Gordon at the table, nudging aside a chair to sit on, sandwich in hand. 

"Yeah, well, we could've been from the start if you hadn't had yo' dick out," Benrey reminds him.

Gordon _tsks_ and clips him on the shoulder. It makes Benrey laugh, like he's being told off by his mom for cursing at the dinner table.

Gordon sets a very sleepy Joshua down in his highchair and takes a seat next to Benrey, and for some reason, this simple action floods Benrey with an indescribable warmth that makes his heart pump too fast. He swallows thickly, squashing the feeling, and peeks at Gordon from the corner of his eye. It happens again. 

Gordon catches him on his third experimental glance. "What?" he asks, regarding him curiously. 

Benrey's eyes go wide as he looks away. Had Gordon's voice always sounded so nice? Why was his heart faltering? Did someone spike the peanut butter?

"Nothing, um- I was just wondering where you get off thinking _Kane & Lynch 2_ is better than _Heavenly Sword._ That's, like, perverse." 

Gordon scoffs. "Keep telling yourself that. You still want a demonstration?" he asks, nodding towards the living room. He sounds more open to the idea now, less like he's just tolerating Benrey's unusual whims.

"Of course. You can't distract me _that_ easy, Freeman."

"Then get your ass in there and finish the PS3. I'll clean up," says Gordon, already taking Benrey's empty plate.

They play the co-op campaign for a good couple of hours, and it's honestly the most fun Benrey's had in years. Gordon gets easily irritated whenever Benrey slips up, which Benrey finds just hilarious, so he makes sure to do it a _lot._

Joshua fell asleep quickly once they started playing, nestled in Gordon's lap and resting heavily against his chest. He's a deep sleeper once he finally gets there, so neither of them have to worry too much about waking him up, but in the few moments Joshua _is_ awake, he's giggling and reaching for Benrey. Benrey takes his little hand every time, making Joshua laugh until he gets shy and nuzzles his face into Gordon's shirt. It's unbelievably sweet. Benrey didn't even like kids, but Joshua was becoming an exception. 

The rain peters out at some point and it starts to get darker. Gordon makes a surprised noise when he checks his phone and sees it's nearly six. 

"Crap," marvels Gordon, showing Benrey the time. "You doing anything tonight?"

"Nah," Benrey replies. He lets his controller drop to his lap as he stretches upwards, all that intense gaming making his joints stiff. 

Gordon nods and looks straight ahead. 

"Do you know how to make lasagna?" he asks after a beat of silence.

"Nah," Benrey says again. Cooking was for chumps.

"You wanna learn?"

"Sure," says Benrey, deciding that cooking was no longer for chumps. 

* * *

Gordon isn't expecting him the next time Benrey comes round. Well, he's expecting him at some point, but not until later - it had just gone 10 AM when Benrey raps on the door. Gordon tuts, thinking it's the Health & Wellbeing assessment team Black Mesa had assigned to him to make sure he hadn't gone completely nuts after the Incident.

It doesn't take much to drive those bozos away, just a few stern words mixed in with the repetition of _I'm fine, really, I am,_ so Gordon beelines to the door to get it over with.

"For the last time, I'm f- oh, hey dude," he says, tone completely changing when he sees who it is. "You're early."

Benrey shuffles on his feet. He's holding a plastic shopping bag in one hand - it looks a bit dodgy, like he's here to sell something. Gordon hopes none of his neighbours are watching.

"Was passing through, so..." Benrey trails off.

His eyes are nervously flicking up and down Gordon's body. It weirds Gordon out until he remembers what he's wearing - just a loose T-shirt and some boxers, total lazy Sunday attire. He suddenly feels very exposed. He clears his throat, trying not to make the moment too awkward. 

"Cool, cool. Come in, then," Gordon says, heading over to the kitchen once Benrey's inside.

"Joshua had something to say to you, actually," he says over his shoulder. 

Benrey follows behind. "Oh yeah?"

"Uh-huh. What was it - 'are you the jackass that scratched my dad's _Kane & Lynch 2_ CD? 'Cos dude, that's so weak and totally lame'," says Gordon in a poor estimation of Joshua's voice.

"It- it was my cat!" says Benrey, scandalised. "I swear! See, look at my nails - they aren't _that_ long, genius."

"Sure. Did the dog eat your homework, too?" Gordon bats back. He snorts when Benrey's face contorts into something like guilt. "It's fine, man. I've got a spare. I'm not letting your clumsy ass near it, though."

"My cat, you mean," Benrey mutters. Gordon rolls his eyes.

Benrey perks up when he sees Joshua in the kitchen, strapped in his highchair and eating haphazard spoonfuls of yoghurt. Joshua babbles at him, taking the spoon out of his mouth and waving it around with excitement. Gordon grabs a napkin and dives toward him before he can splatter yoghurt everywhere. 

"No no no, sweetie, I just cleaned in here," says Gordon, wiping the corners of Joshua's mouth with the napkin. 

Benrey takes Joshua's sticky outstretched hand in his own and shakes it like he's just met an old friend at a bar.

"Sharp shooting, little man," he says. Joshua giggles.

"Ugh, don't encourage him. I'm the one who's gotta clean up afterwards."

"He's no fun, is he," Benrey whispers to Joshua. "Not like me, role model supreme."

"God forbid," Gordon shudders. "Go make us some toast, role model supreme. Your work here is done," he instructs Benrey, motioning to the toaster. 

"Roger," says Benrey, patting Joshua on the head as he goes.

Things had been going better between them since Benrey's last visit. They still argued _incessantly_ , but it wasn't mean-spirited, violent or damaging to Black Mesa's infrastructure. They just bickered about inane things until a senior employee told them to quit it or they'd get Tommy's dad involved. (Tommy's dad could be quite intimidating, even to Benrey, so they never took it _that_ far).

Regardless, Gordon continued to wonder at Benrey's motivations, or if he'd snap back into full god-killer mode the next time Gordon left his passport at home. He'd noticed that Benrey was using his 'abilities' less and less; there had been no growing, shrinking, flying or skeletons to speak of for a while. He broke out the Sweet Voice now and again, but rarely in public - it was more of a party trick. He'd actually started teaching Tommy how to do it too. They treated it like flute lessons, stealing off into an empty room to practice at a set time every week.

Gordon was happy they were bonding, but he still couldn't be sure what to think of Benrey. He wanted to trust him and felt bad that he couldn't, not yet. 

But he was getting there, and that's what counted. 

"I gotcha this, by the way," Benrey says, pulling Gordon out of his thoughts. He reaches into his plastic bag and pulls out an unopened copy of _Heavenly Sword,_ plastic-sealed and everything. "I asked Josh - GameStop Josh, not your Josh - to sneak me another copy. Neat, huh?"

Gordon blinks. "For free? Why'd he do that."

"'Cos I told him you named your son after him."

"You asshole!"

"Language, bro. And I got this for Joshua - it's _Dead or Alive 5: Ultimate._ I had to make sure his first vidya was certifiably pog, can't trust you with that," says Benrey, handing Joshua the case. Gordon takes it off him before he can put it in his mouth. 

"Dude, this says it's 17+," Gordon says, skimming over the back cover. 

Benrey shrugs. "So? All the best games are."

" _So,_ he can have it when he's older," chides Gordon, setting the game aside. "Thanks, though. Or is it Josh I should be thanking?" 

Benrey looks almost offended by this. "Josh is a schmuck. You should be on your knees thanking me, I'm thinking of your son's future."

"S'that right," says Gordon, smirking. 

Benrey locks eyes with him for a moment, then quickly looks anywhere else. "Mhm."

The toast pops out of the toaster, making them both jump. There's an inexplicable change in the air that even Joshua can sense, and he giggles around the spoon in his mouth like he knows something no one else does.

What follows is a minute wherein neither of them really says anything, shoulder to shoulder and buttering toast like it was something they did every day. It'd been a while since Gordon had company like this, and he enjoys it.

"Come to the park with us," says Gordon. He omits a 'would you like to' or a 'do you want to', because - somehow - he feels like he knows what Benrey is going to say.

"Sure."

Benrey doesn't look at him while he responds, blunt and monotone as ever, but Gordon can tell he's smiling. 

**Author's Note:**

> my personal headcannon for benrey is that he has 'I heard a rumour' by bananarama on his ipod and nothing else. thanks for reading!
> 
> <https://ka-za-ka.tumblr.com/>


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